A long ride alone


It’s not often that we get the chance to be completely alone with our thoughts.  I was lucky today, I had no plans to see anyone or to go anywhere.  I didn’t have to do anything and had no responsibilities.

I decided to go for a drive.  It sounds dumb but I needed a halogen light bulb for this lamp that I have.  It has been working my nerves because I have been looking for the correct bulb and have stopped at about 100 places and nobody ever has it.  So I wasn’t in a very good mood at the thought of going on another quest for this damned bulb.  But I did it; and I’m glad I did.

There is a very long stretch of road between my house and the shopping center where I was headed.  It is unusual that this road, being a state highway, was pretty empty.  Since there is only one traffic light and it is right about dead center of a 15 mile stretch, you get a lot of time to just cruise in the car.  The speed limit is 55 so you can go about 60, turn the radio up, put the heated seat on, lean back and just think.  I was singing at times but not really paying attention to the music; it was more out of habit.

I thought about my life, my health, being unemployed.  I thought about family and friends.  I thought about what I should be writing about on my blog.  I thought about politics; Hillary, Barack, I really like him and imagined what it would be like to find out on election night that he had won.  What changes would that bring?  What hope would that bring?  Would I finally feel proud again to be an American.

I guess I already am proud just knowing that change is coming and all Americans seem ready for it.  I thought about the troops and how proud I am of them and their families.  I thought about how difficult it must be for the men and women in uniform and  I thought about how they don’t get the chance to drive down a country road listening to whatever music they want, pondering life and the world around them, lost in their own thoughts.

I try to be thankful for something every day.  It’s easy when times are good but damn is it difficult when it seems like the world is closing in around you.  So today, I am thankful for the long ride alone, in my car.  I don’t think many people get the opportunity like I did today, to just be alone with your thoughts and think about how you fit into the world around you.  It is a cathartic experience and my wish is that everybody gets a chance to stop….and think….and take a deep breath.  Take your long ride alone, it will all be OK.

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Let is snow, let is snow, oh crap, it’s snowing again.


Blogging is really about sharing your personal opinion.  Let’s face it, not all blogs are good.  And of those that are good they are not good all the time.  You need to be persistent and original.  So I decided to just write about what I’m thinking about today.

It snowed again.  In Maine this year it has snowed in December about every other day. 

When I was growing up as a kid I loved the snow, mostly because there was no school.  As I got older I grew a bit more romantic about it.  Some of my favorite memories are when I was in a great relationship with a new guy, and for some reason it was usually in the winter.  There is something fantastically romantic about snow and love.  Sitting by a fire, sipping on cognac or champagne, just enjoying each other, saying so little yet sharing so much.

For all of those years I was in Connecticut.  From about the time I started driving I was lucky enough to have a garage.  Even when I moved out of my parents house and started renting, with few exceptions I always had a garage.  So I never cared about how much it snowed.  I didn’t have to clean off my car unless it happened to snow for a bit while I was out and about.

Now, I live in Maine.  I moved here 7 years ago and I think I have chipped the ice off my car and cleared untold inches of snow off of my car about 600 times, by my calculations, and frankly I’m getting sick of it.  I live in an apartment building now, and there is nothing like getting woken up on a Sunday morning at 6:30 a.m. by the plow guy to come and move your car (or rather dig it out of a huge snow pile) so he can finish plowing the driveway.  All you want to do is roll over and catch a few more Z’s.

So in conclusion, until I move to some new great place where I have a garage at my disposal, I officially don’t like the snow.  And if I do move to a place with a garage, I’m going to damn well make sure I have a fireplace, too.  Maybe that will help my love life.

Luckily I have my High Definiton TV with an antenna so I don’t have to pay my cable company. You can find out more at my other blog here: http://mainehdtv.blogspot.com

The story of an American and a Saudi – it might suprise you.


In the course writing of my blogs, I do a lot of research.  I research anything available to me on the Internet so that I can try and peel away the layers and find the truth; somewhere.  In my travels on the web I ended up making contact with a 22 year old guy in Saudi Arabia.  Some would say we met under unusual circumstances.  I am gay and he happens to be gay and one night a week ago or so, we found ourselves chatting using instant messaging.  We became somewhat enamored of each other; there was something about the way we talked and shared, the way we flirted and cared, that made me realize that when you peel away all the layers of politics, religion, sex, and lifestyle, we are essentially all the same.  We all want to be loved, we all want attention, we all bleed when we are stabbed; we are all lonely when left alone too long.  We all believe in a power greater than ourselves, we all are sometimes so empty that we want to reach out to anyone who will listen. 

I have so many unanswered questions:  What is it like to live where you are?  What are your freedoms?  What is your lack of freedom?  What is your schedule like half way around the world? When do you work, when do you sleep? What to you think of Americans or any other nationality out there?  I hear the pain in your voice and want to fly half way around the world; this evil world’ and take whatever chances I need to take, to get to you and hug you and let you fall apart from the unbearable pain and let you cry on my shoulder.  I don’t care if we become friends or lovers or neither of these.  Read More »