Ass Wipe Nation


When I was a kid, and even when I was a younger adult, the words “ass wipe” were used as a derogatory slang expression that meant “a real asshole” – nay, you were worse than that, you were the toilet paper that wiped the dirty asses.  Don’t you remember referring to someone as an “ass wipe”?  “Oh my god, that guy is such an ass wipe.”

Oh, how times have changed.   Today, the definition of “ass wipe” is not derogatory, ass wipes are a requirement in the American household.  I don’t recall when it started, but I do recall being one of the first people I knew to buy ass wipes, also called “moist wipes”.  They are a derivation of “baby wipes” except you can’t flush baby wipes like you can ass wipes.  I remember having visitors to my home, close friends usually, who said “what are those things sitting on the back of your toilet tank in that plastic box”.  And I would explain to them that they are “moist wipes”.  When they still didn’t get it, I said “they’re ass wipes – they’re slightly wet and you use them to clean you ass”.  For christ sake do I have to spell it out??  Do you really not know what these things are?  Were we, as a nation, so naive, or blind to a fact that Europeans and their bidets have known for years:  Skid marks aren’t pretty. 

Maybe as a gay man it all seemed so natural to me to have these cleansing gadgets.  I won’t go into details – you’re welcome.  But American bathrooms, for the most part, are bidet-free.  Sure there are high-end homes with super high-end bathrooms that have bidets.  Many wouldn’t recognize what it is and would probably ask why there is a water fountain in your bathroom.  And now the “must have” bathroom fixture is the thousand dollar Japanese toilet that basically washes, blow dries, and puts your ass through a spin cycle before sending you on your merry way.

But barring that, Americans have their “ass wipes”.  Currently it’s almost unheard of to walk into someone’s bathroom and not find a box of moist wipes sitting on the toilet tank.  Mothers are happy.  Their kids and their husbands don’t leave so many skid marks in their underwear; making their laundry chore far less disgusting.  Husbands are happy because now maybe their wives won’t mind giving them head somuch because it doesn’t smell so bad.  As for gay men, we’re just happy.  Happy that we spread the word about ass-wipes and it took off.  I’m disappointed that Spell Check in America rarely get’s “bidet” correct.   To summarize, clean asses are in our thoughts, but not in our dictionaries.

My only counterpoint to this?  Dick Cheney is still an old-fashioned ass wipe. (Sorry, I had to slip that in somewhere).  I’m not sure, exactly, why America has become obsessed with cleaning their butts.  But I’m glad they did.  It makes sitting in a crowded room so much more pleasant.

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It should be legal to shoot at people driving loud motorcycles


This is mostly directed at those who choose to drive Harleys, and especially to those who modify their bikes to make them louder, Harley or not.  If these people don’t care about my health and well-being, not to mention my right to live in peace and quiet, then why should I care about theirs.  If they are intentionally going to ride a loud motorcycle, knowing full well that they are pissing people off with the noise, and truly don’t give a shit, then why can’t I take a BB Gun or a 12-Gage shotgun and take target practice.  I don’t want them to die from the gunshot any more than they want me to die from the noise.  But they don’t care if they disrupt my day, or night, so why am I not allowed to disrupt theirs.

I live in Maine.  I don’t really understand the motorcycle culture here but it’s something I never experienced until I moved here.  Recently I wrote a letter to my State Senator and State Representative because I heard that some group was trying to get a law passed to crack down on loud motorcycles.  My story, and my letter, goes as follows:

I live in Springvale, Maine in an apartment, set back from the road a bit, but in the center of town.

 As a result of excessive motorcycle noise, I literally cannot live my life in my home with my windows open.

 It’s winter now, so not much of an issue.  But as soon as the weather turns warmer just a bit, or even if we have one warm winter day, the motorcycles appear like moths to a flame.  By April and right through to November, I cannot open the windows in my home.  No fresh air, no sleeping with a cool breeze coming in the windows, it is literally impossible.

 Why?  Loud motorcycles.  Not only do they get some thrill out of making their motorcycles as loud as possible, the will sit at the traffic light and rev their already loud engines.  When they take off, it’s as if a drill-bit is being jammed into my temple.   I cannot fall asleep, nor stay asleep during the night with my windows open and god forbid if I want to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon with the window open.

It is absolutely ridiculous, uncalled for, and as far as I am concerned, it is selfish on the part of the motorcycle owner, not to mention criminal in how they think they own the road. 

 Along with the noise is the attitude.  Why are motorcyclists allowed to travel in packs of sometimes hundreds?  There was one occasion last summer where I was trying to pull out of a side street onto Pleasant Street in Springvale.  I was trying to get to the doctor as I was dealing with an urgent medical issue.  I sat there as hundreds of motorcycles went by, one after the other, mile after mile, for 32 minutes.  Thirty-two minutes.  That is how long I waited trying to pull out on to the main road so I could get to an urgent doctor visit.  I tried inching my way out hoping somebody would have the smarts to know to let me out.  But no.  Not one single cyclist had the foresight to say “hey other people might need to get somewhere”.   I do not care if it was a joyride or a charity ride.  Groups of motorcycles do not need to travel in unending packs of obnoxious noise and a sense of entitlement.

 But my biggest issue is the noise.  Can they not tell how loud the bike is?  Are they deaf from the noise or do they just not care?  I see how they behave, revving up their engines at traffic lights.  If I’m next to one at a light, I have to close the windows in my car because I can’t hear the radio.  Or my passenger.  That’s just plain wrong.

I will do ANYTHING to help your cause.  I will call whomever you need me to call.  I will write to whomever you need me to write.  I will go to the State House and stand in front of a committee.  You just let me know.

 I have a blog that I can put to work on this topic.  And I will contact media outlets if need be.

 I was so shocked, and excited, that somebody is finally doing something about this.  I had no idea your organization even existed until I saw a news piece on WMTW and then did some Internet searches based on that. 

 Please sign me up to help.

Obviously, I am not serious about taking pot shots at bikers.  I don’t believe in violence.  Especially violence to fight stupidity.  However, there are many days that I think about it when a Harley goes SCREAMING by my home.  Being exposed to loud noises has been proven to cause sleep deprivation, chronic fatigue, anxiety, hostility, depression and hypertension.  At a recent doctor visit for a regular checkup, the thing withwhich my doctor was most concerned was my lack of sleep.

I feel like the old guy in the neighborhood who says “you kids get off my lawn” (said in an old man voice, of course) .  I am only in my early forties but have been bothered by loud noises like this for most of my life.  I hate loud TV’s and loud radios, too.  I honesty wouldn’t care so much about this if the root cause was not based in the bike owner’s sense of entitlement.  The U.S. Constitution says we have a right to live our lives freely, but it can’t be at the expense of other citizens right to the same.

If you would like to support MECALM , and would like to support the few Maine Legislators that are backing this bill (LD-1675), or if you simply would like more information, please go to www.mecalm.org

Olympa Snowe is a two-faced phoney on the Public Option


I did not know this until recently so I won’t fault anyone else for not knowing it either:  Triggers are nothing more than a way for a bill to die a slower death.

In the history of our Congress, “triggers” have almost always been ignored.

So all the talk from Olympia Snowe that she is so fair-minded and fiscally responsible that she can ONLY back a health care reform bill in the form of a trigger is a bunch of bullshit.  Adding a trigger to the bill is a simple way of killing the bill without having the balls to say you are killing the bill.

Here’s how Triggers work:  If a bill it not really supported by Congress, whether Democrat or Republican, these Senators and Representatives put a Trigger option in the bill, meaning that if certain criteria don’t come to fruition, then someone can “pull the Trigger”.  The problem is that the Trigger is never pulled.

Here’s an example:  One trigger came about in 1973.   At that time Congress enacted the War Powers Resolution. It gave the president 90 days after the start of any armed conflict to receive congressional authorization. If no such authorizations were granted, troops would be required to come home. Congress has never once imposed a 90-day deadline on any military action.

I live in Maine.  Olympia Snowe certainly doesn’t represent me in the U.S. Senate, although I pay her to do so.  She is representing her own interests.  According to the Huffington Post, Snowe has received more than one million dollars in campaign contributions from the health care industry.  I’ll say it again.  Snow has received more than ONE MILLION DOLLARS from the heath care industry.  Does that sound like incentive to PASS health care reform, or reject health care reform.  Susan Collins is no different so don’t be fooled by her either.

So this is why Ms. Snowe feels so adamant about having the public option be ONLY a trigger.  So it looks like she’s voting FOR health care when if fact she knows the trigger will NEVER happen, it never has before.  She is a cop-out, a coward, and does not represent the constituency in Maine.  She is nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  She like  her power right where it is and will do anything to keep it.

If Olympia Snowe really wanted some sort of health care reform, then we’d already have it.  Again, I live in Maine.  I am underinsured.  I have called her office and got nothing but the run-around.  She doesn’t represent the people of Maine who pay her salary.  But the people of Maine don’t understand the nuances of politics.  Mainers are straight shooters, and unfortunately believe that Snowe, and Collins for that matter, are as well.  But they are not.

Call Olympia Snowe‘s office.  They won’t tell you what she thinks or how she’ll vote because she is a coward.  But you can tell them what YOU think and what YOU want.  If we, as her constituency, don’t stick up for ourselves, then we have no one to blame but ourselves.  I beg you get involved in this health care debate or you will lose.  Even those with health care will lose.  Stop the insanity. And the lies.

Mika Brzezinksi is now the full blown food police


I have seen and heard Mika Brzezinski say a lot of stupid things over the years but this has to take the cake.

She’s beyond being the “food police” and is now the “Body Police”.  On this morning’s “Morning Joe” she ranted into yet another diatribe that went way beyond her usual “Sugar kills, sugar is bad, you should be killed if you eat sugar” and went right into “Meat will kill you”.  The human race has been eating meat since its existence.  In fact, it was because of the human bodies ability to process meat protein that the human race developed and flourished into what it is today.

Brzezinski then said that she had no problem if other people ate meat as long as they “paid more”.  Paid more for what?  Taxes, health insurance premiums?  When is this going to stop?  When is enough, enough?  I hate the term “slippery slope” but if we were ever on one, now is the time.

Mika Brzezinski hates fat people; she thinks that most American’s are obese monsters who should just die.  Well let me tell you something.  Listening to her, and her fascist views on obesity, give me so much stress that I think SHE should pay more to be on TV because the stress levels I must endure by listening to her are going to kill me.

Second, she thinks there should be a tax on people who are overweight.  So what is it, 30 cents a pound?  How does this work? And what about when Brzezinski was pregnant having her babies.  Maybe she fell outside the “normal limits” of weight gain for her pregnancy.  Should she pay more taxes, or more in insurance premiums for that?  I say YES. On top of the FAT tax.

Willie Geist said to her “So you don’t think it is OK, or my choice, to have a Big Mac once in a while?”  Brzezinski first said “NO” because it’s bad for you”.  (According to whom?)  And when Willie said “why”, Brzezinski said “because I have to pay for your bad health”.

Really.  Really!  Really?  I believe Willie has his own insurance.  Mika is not paying his co-pays or deductibles.  And if she’s talking about the fact that she has to pay more in insurance premiums to cover the cost of people in bad health?  Then I say, If she was paying for Willie, or me, then I would have WAY better insurance than I have. 

Does that also mean that I pay more for health insurance because Mika has children.  I must right?  If Mika thinks that all health care costs are spread out equally among then I must be paying for her pregnancy, pre-natal vitamins, the birth, the afterbirth, and any “special needs” her children might have, or devlop.  Well, I don’t want to pay for that.  I don’t have kids and don’t want to pay for people with kids or the kids themselves.  So screw her.  If she had a premature baby, LET IT DIE, because I don’t want to pay for it.  Fuck her.  That’s exactly what she is saying about people who DARE to eat meat.

I am confused about whether she is a Republican or Democrat; but she is acting like a typical Republican.  She thinks she can legislate what you put in your body and if you don’t think and eat like her, she has no use for you.

Who knows what bottled hair bleach does to your health.  I don’t want to pay for that either.  She suffers from Self-righteous indignation, from a woman with such low self-esteem that she lashes out at everyone and anyone who isn’t perfect in her eyes.  It is sad.  It is maddening.  And most of all, it is a slippery slope when we project our own fears, opinions, and moral judgment on everyone else around us and never take a look at ourselves.  She is doing EXACTLY what she accuses others of doing.

She acts like a woman who was molested by her father, brother, or close family member.  She is addicted to being thin and eating right all in an effort to gain acceptance by somebody who harmed her.  Politically and journalistically, she is in WAY over her head.  And I don’t know how you go from majoring in “Sitting in a chair” and minoring in “Talking at the Camera” (they go together, you know) to thinking that she is the self-appointed, spokes-model for the American diet.  What is really going on here?  Why would someone who outwardly has a pretty good life get SO worked up about a Big Mac.  Me think she doth protest too much.  Something doesn’t add up.

Mika Brzezinski hits new low on Grayson comments


What is worse than Mika Brzezinski using “Morning Joe” (weekday mornings on MSNBC) as a platform to pretend she’s a journalist?  Having to watch Mika Brzezinski pretend to be a journalist without Joe Scarborough there to put her in her place.  I watch “Morning Joe” for the guests.   It seems as if anyone involved with current events is a guest on that show.  Joe Scarborough pisses me off and co-host Mika Brzezinski annoys the hell out of me.  Yet still I watch.

This morning, Joe was not there again.  He had some surgery on his sinuses which can’t be pleasant, so I do wish him well.  But what his absence has left is a political talk show with only Mika Brzezinski to steer the ship.  Permanent guests Willie Geist and Mike Barnicle help, but Mika Brzezinski running the show? Oh man, what a week.

So today they were talking about Alan Grayson’s apology.  He didn’t apologize in the manner the Republicans wanted, but he did apologize to all the families and other loved ones of people who DIED as a result of not having health insurance.  He apologized for not getting the job done; the job being providing reasonable health insurance to all Americans.

Another semi-permanent guest, Pat Buchanan, weighed in.  Pat said something about how Alan Grayson was getting his 15 minutes of fame, and that he was the hottest thing going right now for the Democrats (see previous article on why that is).  Mika then asked the producer to put up the picture of Grayson again.  It was a picture of Grayson on the floor of Congress with his “charts” that say “Die Quickly”.  Mika actually said, while she was sort of laughing  (this is paraphrased but close enough) “So this is what’s considered HOT in the Democratic Party”.  She was taking
pot-shots at his appearance.  Alan Grayson was dressed nicely enough.  He appeared to be a bit portly and maybe didn’t belong on the cover of G.Q., but her best argument against him is that he’s not pretty enough?

For someone like Mika Brzezinski who talks almost everyday about how the media should have more decency, more integrity, and watch what they say, she comes out with a pot-shot against a politician because he isn’t skinny enough for her standards.

Well, Mika, I’m talking to you directly now and here’s my take.  First, take your own advice and keep the comments to yourself if they have nothing to do with the real story.  That’s what you preach.  Second, we all know that you are a runner and run 8 miles a day, every day.  You act as if a potato chip has never entered your virgin mouth (which bring me to a whole new topic on frigid women but that’s for another day).  Let’s face it, you are of Polish descent.  I don’t believe for one second that you haven’t gone to a family gathering where they are serving kielbasa and pierogies and you aren’t scarfing them down.  And third, I think you doth protest too much.  You are literally running a crusade against people who are overweight.  The reason you run your ass off everyday and preach about good eating habits is because you have such an inferiority complex, text book insecurity issues, and you live with the fear that other people will judge you in the same wat you judge others.

Making a comment about Alan Grayson’s looks, or appearance, is not right, not fair, not professional, and certainly not journalism.  You are not raising the journalism bar, your are doing the limbo right under it, and then claiming that other journalists aren’t up to your standards.  You are a hypocrite.

The Post Office, Paved Roads, the Military, and Healthcare


The Republicans are offering absolutely no solutions or ideas to solve the healthcare crisis in America.  They are doing everything they can to keep the status-quo and to stop any conversation about how healthcare in the modern world can work to the benefit of all Americans.

The Democrats, as usual, are having problems organizing themselves.  Even with majority control in the House and Senate, and a Democrat in the White House, they can’t seem to seize this opportunity to pass legislation regarding Healthcare for all Americans.

Let’s think about this.  First, why is healthcare in this country linked to your job?  What does your employment status have to do with your access to healthcare at a reasonable cost?  The answer is not that complicated.  Nothing!

Healthcare as we know it was designed as an employee benefit.  “Come work for us and we’ll pay for your doctor visits and surgery if you need it”.  The intent of  Healthcare through your employer was not that it be the primary delivery system for Healthcare to Americans. 

I am having difficulty figuring out what societies did before Health Insurance companies existed.  As far as I am concerned, Healthcare is a basic human right.  Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and someone to help you when you are sick. 

Governments are supposed to exist in order to do things for the people that the people can’t do for themselves; regardless of social status.   I can’t write a letter and drive across country to deliver that letter to the recipient.  So the government invented the postal service.  If they didn’t why would there be a need for letters at all.  If I am going to drive across country to deliver a letter to Grandma, then I’ll just tell her in person when I get there.

People need to get from point A to point B.  If that is with a car, so be it.  If it is with a bus, train, or plane, so be it.  But I personally cannot pave my own roads; nor can I construct my own railroad to get me where I want to go.  So the government, at the will of the people, builds roads for cars and buses, and railroads for trains.   It all makes perfectly good sense.  In a democracy we vote to send a representative to a central location and get things done that we need done on our behalf.  As a result, we pay taxes to collectively finance all of these products that we as a group have decided we want.

Now to Healthcare.  Everyone, and I mean every single person in the world, will need medical care at some point in his or her life.  We cannot diagnose and treat ourselves.  So we, as a nation, must decide how we are going to provide this basic human need to everyone who needs it.  This concept is not difficult to understand, is it?

I don’t think I will ever understand how Health Insurance companies came into being.  I understand auto insurance and property insurance.  If you own a vehicle and get into an accident, it is not a right that the general public pays for your bad driving.  And since we all can’t afford a house, we all shouldn’t pay for your house if it gets damaged by flood or fire.  We may, as a community, decide to help you on our own, but it is not the government’s job to reimburse you for your own personal luxuries.

Safety.  We want to feel safe; in fact we want to BE safe.  I cannot personally protect this entire country from enemies, both foreign and domestic.  So we collectively as a nation decide to allow our government to do that for us.  Again, we’re back to democracy here.  Each person may be called upon to help in the fight but it doesn’t make much sense for each person in America to be left alone to figure out how to protect the country, or themselves, from invaders and then act upon it.  We need a centralized protection organization.  That’s our Armed Services.  And we collectively ask our government to protect us.  And we ask our government to fund it.

All of these collective services provided to us by the government are not based, and cannot be based, upon one’s financial ability to pay.  These services are funded through taxes.  And in a perfect world the taxation of each person in this country would be completely fair.  The more money you have, the more you pay in taxes.  That’s how democracy works.  Especially when it comes to providing basic needs to its citizens.  Remember, the government is there to do things for the people that they are not able to do for themselves, at the direction of the people. 

So why is Healthcare any different?  First, we have to get past the notion that healthcare is a luxury; it is not.  We all need medical attention at some point in our lives; beginning with the day we are born and the doctor slaps us on the behind.

Rich people will always have more luxuries than poor people.  I don’t think we can change that.  But we don’t provide better roads to rich people, and we don’t provide a better military to rich people, and our parcels don’t get to where they are going any faster for the rich people.  So why is it, then, that rich people get medical treatment and poor people don’t?

Again, you need to get past the notion that medical treatment is a luxury.  Healthcare is essential to any society; whether it be proactive, preventative care, or treatment for an accident, illness, or disease.  We all need it regardless of your social status and therefore it should also be provided by the government.  If a rich woman and a poor woman both have breast cancer, should the rich woman get the treatment she needs and the poor woman be allowed to just die in pain?

Right wing conservatives are trying the scare the public into believing that Obama’s healthcare plan will weed out the weak ones.  In fact, it is our current healthcare system that is doing that right now.  It is Barack Obama and the democrats who are trying to stop it.

I lost my job is April of 2007 and was out of work until October 2008.  As a result, I went without health insurance for a year and a half.  When I finally landed a job, that happened to provide health care as an employee benefit, I was still turned away due to “pre-existing” conditions.  I have a three thousand dollar annual deductible and NOT ONE of the doctor visits regarding my “pre-existing” condition are even applied to that deductible because the expenses don’t qualify.  I was told by my insurance company that the only reason my pre-existing condition wouldn’t be paid for is because I let my health insurance lapse.  If there were no lapse in coverage while I was unemployed, everything would be covered.  The point here is that health insurance companies are saying “You had health coverage, then you didn’t for a while, so we’re not going to let you screw us by only getting insurance when you have an illness.  You have to pay into the system ALL THE TIME in order for us to make any money”.  The reasons for my lapse in coverage are of no significance to them whatsoever.  The fact that my monthly insurance premium would have been more than my unemployment check was of no significance. The rules are the rules.  As a result of this I am bankrupt and still trying to pay off medical bills from 2 years ago. 

The only reason I mention all of this now is because one relatively short story about one of my experiences with healthcare tells almost the whole story about healthcare in America.  Lost job, lost insurance, can’t afford insurance, don’t get needed treatment, get new job, still don’t get needed treatment, escalating costs to treat me because I went untreated for so long.

This is what is happening in America today.  Insurance companies exist not to pay for health care, but to figure out how NOT to pay for health care.  Without this piece of the puzzle, insurance companies wouldn’t make any money.  The Republicans also talk about our health care system being second to none.  Not true.  We rank 36th or 37th in the world.  The Republicans say that there is plenty of competition in the insurance industry and therefore, we don’t need a public option.  Well if there are 1300 health insurance companies in the United States and all 1300 of them can simply say “no, we won’t take you because you are too risky” then where exactly is the competition for my business.  Without a government financed health insurance program, the “for profit” insurance companies have not reason to lower rates, accept everyone, or pay for more claims.  Nobody is competing for my business because I need them more than they need me.

What if insurance companies were not allowed to be “for-profit”?   What if their goal was to keep America healthy instead of making investors money?  How is it that investors are allowed to make money off of an insurance company that finds ways to NOT pay for someone’s operation, or doctor visit, or referral to a specialist?  How is it that insurance companies are allowed to earn a profit by denying life-giving treatment to the sick and dying?  “Hey we didn’t pay for millions of people to get healthcare so here’s your dividend, Mr. Investor.  Sure, people died, but you got a check”.

So it’s not all that complicated is it?  Every American needs healthcare just like every American needs the post office, the military, and roads to drive on.  These “needs” are the same regardless of race, religion, or economic status.  They are the same for the young and old, rich and poor, healthy and sick. 

Therefore it is the government’s responsibility to ensure that every American gets equal healthcare.  We know the system won’t be perfect.  To keep the metaphor alive, it is true that while everyone is America needs infrastructure like roads, not all roads are paved equally well all the time.  But at some point, every road gets repaved.  And there is not sign on that road that says “this road is for wealthy people only”.

Now, I’m sure the wealthy would like to differ.  They probably think that because they are wealthy they deserve better roads that only they can drive on.  But they do not deserve better roads, a better military, a better post office, or better healthcare.  By order of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, we are all equal.  And when the government provides services to the people that the people cannot provide for themselves, healthcare should be one of them.

Even with side effects, Ambien may be right for you


Below is the actual copy from an Ambien TV commercial (with my comments).  It’s the part of the commercial where it addresses  the drug’s warnings and interactions.  It is the longest  and most comprehensive list of drug warnings I have ever seen.  My first question is:  Are we as American’s that dumb?

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Until you know how Ambien will affect you, you shouldn’t drive or operate machinery.  (How many people do you know take a sleeping pill and then GO FOR A DRIVE?)

Plan to devote seven to eight hours to sleep before being active.  (If I could do that, I wouldn’t need a sleeping pill)

Sleep walking, or eating and driving while not fully wake, with amnesia for the event, as well as abnormal behaviors such as being more outgoing or aggressive than normal, confusion, agitation, and hallucinations have been reported.  (If I’m confused, hallucinating, and have amnesia, how will I remember to tell my doctor?)

Don’t take [Ambien] with alcohol as it may increase these behaviors. (If you can’t drink Alcohol with a sleeping pill why bother?)

In rare cases, severe allergic reactions can occur.  (Define “severe”.  If I get a good night sleep and a few hives, I’m all good)

In patients with depression, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide, may occur. (So I may kill myself because I’m finally getting enough sleep?)

Side effects may include next day drowsiness, dizziness, and headache. (Hmm.  Drowsiness after taking a sleeping pill?  That’s shocking!  So I’ll be sort of groggy the next day, and a little dizzy with a splitting headache.  I guess I’ll just have to go home and take another Ambien.)  

It’s non-narcotic and can be taken for as long as your prescriber recommends. (Oh thank god)

However, like most sleep aids, it has some risk of dependency. (DAMN IT, I knew it was too good to be true).

Allergic reactions such as shortness of breath, swelling of your tongue or throat, may occur and in rare cases may be fatal. (Well, if I die at least I won’t be complaining that I didnt’ get enough sweep, AHEM!, thweep!, thrweeep! HAP, I CANG BWEEB!)

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My second question is: Do we, as a nation, need sleep so badly that we are willing to die for it?

Vagisil – it’s what’s for Breakfast


OK.  No kidding around here.  I woke up this morning after falling asleep in my recliner.  After rubbing my eyes and slowly opening them, I grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV to check the news and weather.  What I saw made me think I must be still asleep and dreaming and if so, I’ve got a sick and twisted mind.

A woman is walking, to somewhere, from somewhere I don’t know, she’s just walking.  And a soft, monotone voice comes over the TV and says”

“After the itching is gone, and after the odor is gone, now you can just live your life…….Vagisil”

WHAT?????????????????????????

If I was dreaming I am a sick and twisted human being.  I mean, what the hell.  I’m gay, why would I be dreaming about itching and odors emanating from a vagina????  I don’t know if I got all the words exactly right but I now “itching” and “odor” was in there and the rest is accurate, if not pretty damned close to exactly what was said.

Oh wait.  I wasn’t dreaming.  I’m not sick and twisted.  It’s the Vagisil folks that are sick and twisted.  AND have crossed the line.

This is not about misogyny, and it’s not about being politically correct, and it’s not about the fact that men should be accepting of women’s “issues”, this is just plain GROSS!  I immediately called my best friend, a female, and told her about it.  She was just about retching and heaving when I told her and she said the same thing, “GROSS”.  She said, “are you sure?”.  Of course, I am, I just watched it.

Now let’s turn that around.  Not that there is anything from a man’s perspective that could compare to this but I’ll give it a try.

“After you wipe away what could become a skid mark, and after the aroma is gone, now you can get on with your life……Charmin”

Can you imagine if THAT was a commercial,  A guy walking to somewhere, or from somewhere and a soft calming voice proclaims the advantages of cleaning one of your holes.  I mean COME ON!!!!

Vagisil is made by Combe Incorporated, White Plains, NY (800) 431-2610.  Please call them and ask them to stop the insanity.

A fat wallet means you’ll probably be skinny


I have recently discovered that of all the factors that contribute to human health, the amount of money you have, or simply your social status, is the most important one.

It has been suspected for years, and recent studies in both Britain and the United States indicate that even if you are overweight, a smoker, have high cholesterol, and live a sedentary lifestyle, all things being equal, if you are rich you will live longer than if you are poor.

In my opinion, this is all about that elusive factor that is so intangible: Stress.

From personal experience Stress has amazingly poor effects on the body.  Sometimes, the body reacts to stress in ways you would never suspect is being cause by stress.  Things like, blurry vision (you think you need glasses or to get your current glasses checked).  Things like clumsiness, dry mouth, headaches, a runny nose, etc, etc.  All of these things and millions of others, can all be attributed to stress.

They say (who are they) that money can’t buy happiness.  I disagree.  Let’s say you compared two people, one rich one poor.  They are both dealing with a recent death in the family.  The rich person can still go out for their favorite meal at an expensive restaurant, sip champagne or cognac, with a nice cigar.  The one with money who can slap the cash down on the table and walk away without a care in the world about money, will live a much happier, healthier, life than the one who stops at the grocery store and uses food stamps to try and piece together a meal for the family.

It’s just that simple.  The research is out there; go check it out.

Obama and Clinton differ on NAFTA and Health Care


If you compare Obama and Clinton on issues, it is true that they have the same basic platform, beliefs, and commitment.  I’m not one to go along with generally accepted truths blindly, but in this case, I do believe that Obama and Clinton really only differ on Free Trade and Health Care.

As for free trade, NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) came into being when Bush One was in power.  I believe that Bill Clinton made some adjustments to it to try and make it better, but in reality he also used it as one of his first attempts in his Presidency to get some form of agreement from both sides of the aisle. 

Now, while Hillary supported NAFTA at the time, she has since said, “I have been critical of NAFTA for years.  I have said repeatedly that it did not realize its potential or its promises and we had to change it.”  I’m not sure what this really means.  It is a passive-aggressive statement, using the word “it” as if to separate herself from a distant idea.  So, she knew NAFTA wasn’t working, or wouldn’t work but she supported it then, but not now.  I’m so confused.  But one thing stands out for me.  It seems that Bill and Hillary didn’t think the whole NAFTA thing out too clearly.  Bill Clinton still defends NAFTA but says that if it is not considered successful, it is because the rules weren’t enforced, not because NAFTA was a bad deal.   The bottom line for me is that since NAFTA went into effect in January 1994, there has been major fighting between the countries involved (U.S., Canada, and Mexico), the unions involved, the industries involved, and the governments involved.  No matter how you slice it, NAFTA is controversial and has never been proved to be beneficial to anyone except big business in America who got richer off the deal.  I’m not too keen on a world leader who takes the approach of “let’s send it up the flagpole and see if it flies”.  This was not typical of Bill Clinton so I’m not sure what really happened back then.  As President, you need to be a lot more insightful than that.  You can’t just “try it” and see if it works.  You owe it to the American people to think about it, listen to your advisers, listen to the citizens of this country, and listen to your gut.  If you truly believe you are doing the right thing, then do it, and own it, successful or not.

As for health care, Hillary Clinton’s plan is similar to the plan in existence right now in Massachusetts.  Essentially, health care is MANDATORY, meaning you must get insurance.  My sister and her family live in Massachusetts and they have told me that this mandate is a financial hardship for them.  They are scraping by now and have the additional burden of figuring out how to pay for this mandatory insurance. 

So, if you can afford it, too bad, Clinton’s plan is that you must have health care.  In many circumstances, the problem is not “getting” health care but “affording” health care.  I don’t see the point in mandating that the citizens of America get health care if the money is coming out of their own pockets regardless of whether or not they will be able to feed their families after paying for health care.  Something just doesn’t make sense.  Hillary Clinton has said, in rebuttal, that she plans to provide tax credits to help defray the cost of health insurance.  As an average American, do you understand how a tax credit is going to help you afford to go to the doctor TODAY because you are sick but don’t have the money to pay the doctor?  Clinton also plans on enforcing, in some manner, her mandatory health insurance plan.  She has talked about “garinishing wages” or some other “enforcement mechanisms”.  What does that really mean.  I’ll be penalized by my government if I can’t afford to buy health care by them taking money forcefully from me?

I believe that Mrs. Clinton misrepresents the facts when she says that her plan is superior to Obama’s because he plan “covers everyone” and his does not.  Barack Obama’s plan is based on the fact that Americans don’t have insurance because they simply can’t afford it.  Many Americans get insurance through their employer, some who CAN afford it, buy it privately, and others may get it by being a member of an association (for example, the Small Business Association) where they can get more affordable insurance because they can be part of a group plan.  With this in mind, Obama is saying that for everyone else who WANTS insurance, he would like to make affordable insurance available (in an insurance plan similar to the one members of Congress enjoy today).  He does not plan to enforce mandatory insurance on anyone but rather offer affordable alternatives so that people who WANT insurance have affordable options.  His only talk of enforcement comes from his belief that children should have insurance and since children can’t speak for themselves, and are our most vulnerable citizens, he may come up with some plan to enforce parents to provide insurance for their children.  Most importantly, Barack Obama has said that his first priority is to bring costs down.  That’s a good priority to have when compared to enforcing health insurance for everyone.  We all know that health insurance companies are second only to oil companies in terms of monumental, undeserved profits.

I am not saying that what I have written is the absolute final word on this.  I have written this based on the research I have done and my interpretation of it.  There are so many misconceptions based on the words that the candidates use and how they are interpreted by the media and the public.  I think it is the responsibility of each of us to do our homework and make our own decisions.  This is just my humble opinion.

Thanks for stopping by.