With all the hype worthy of a White Bronco chase, Adam Lambert’s performance at the American Music Awards last night was saved until the end, and when I say “end” in mean the bitter end. And when I say “bitter end” I mean right after the last award was given out and right before the credits. Since when does a nobody like Adam Lambert have the clout to close a show. Was it because his performance was supposed to be THAT good? Or was it because the producers were giving the viewing public the option to turn off the TV or change channels because the official awards portion of the show was done. I am assuming it’s the latter.
From the leather and chains, to Lambert pushing and pulling scantily clad dancer boys around the stage with dog collars, to Lambert literally pushing one male dancer’s face into his crotch by grabbing the back of the dancer’s head as he thrusts his hips into the dancer’s face (pew!) to Lambert deep tounge-kissing the male drummer, (or was it a female – let’s go with she-male because I have no idea), the “performance” was like the bad sex-like shows I used to see in New York’s gay night clubs. As a gay man I watched Adam Lambert with my hand over my face; fingers splayed out so I could “sort-of” see what was going on and then wince in pain, snapping my eyes shut like an oyster with newly found grain of sand.
Not only was Lambert disgusting, he has absolutely, (and I mean none, nada, nope, nothing, no way) no sexual appeal whatsoever. He looked uncomfortable, he acted like he was uncomfortable, and when the screaming crowd in the auditorium stopped “raising the roof” and clapping and cheering about 30 seconds in to his “performance”, even Lambert knew it was all over.
Speaking of screaming, with his usual “flare”, Adam Lambert robotically got through the song so he could get to the parts where he could scream like a hyena caught in a bear trap. He’s not a singer, he’s a screamer (in more ways than one). You can tell by watching him. He was so bored with the regular parts of the song and was literally chomping at the bit to get to the “screamy parts”. Did you hear that final note? Or was it notes? Even he didn’t know where to park that thing. That last note was like watching grandpa trying to parallel-park a Winnebago. He’s in the general area, but you have no idea where it’s going to finally land. And when he lands it, it isn’t at all where it should be.
God, it was awful. I read somewhere that Adam Lambert is being shoved down our throats by the media. Well, he is being shoved down someone’s throat; just ask the male dancer on stage last night. I wanted Adam to do well. I wanted to like him. I wanted to like his performance. But I just can’t. As an openly gay man who has no problem with objectifying men, I think Adam Lambert is an abomination. The sad part is, he’s got some raw talent there. If he could just tap into it, we’d all be better off.
Meanwhile the winner of American Idol, Kris Allen, was “allowed” to stand on stage for about 6 seconds to introduce somebody, or something, or some award. I don’t even remember. Kris Allen WON Idol, and he can sing. But Kris Allen hasn’t been given the media attention that Lambert has gotten ever since Lambert “Yup, I’m gay” cover story. Who cares? Like it was a newsflash anyway. It would have been WAY more surprising if he said, “Yes, I”m hetero” then I would have run out and bought that magazine, all the while screaming “WHAT?????????????”
One more thing: Whitney Houston sucked, too. She may have a new lease on life, but mabye she should have sub-let.