Palin finally grants Alaskans their Independence


In the most patriotic gesture ever enacted on Independence Day weekend, Governor Sarah Palin announces that she will not seek another term as Governor of Alaska (thereby granting Alaskans their Independence from her).  Further, she is stepping down immediately as the Governor of Alaska.  Well, she’s stepping down in a few weeks but it may as well be tomorrow.

Irony was not lost on Palin’s almost incoherent, Sanford-esque press conference.  And this was a prepared statement.  On the banks of the lake in Wasilla where the Palins live, there were two ducks frolicking in the water behind her.  (Go ahead, check the video tape, I kid you not).  It almost appeared as if they were fighting, or playing, it was hard to tell, but after a little while the two ducks gave up and just sat there.  Lame ducks?  You be the judge.

Alaskans were seen parading in the streets with flags, banners, and streamers, celebrating their independence from the right-wing, uneducated, Jesus-freak, slutty-librarian governor.  Ironically, since Governor Palin doesn’t read newspapers, she’ll never see it in black and white in the local paper, or the New York Times, for that matter.  Hopefully, one of her children will cut out the article for her, and scotch tape it to the fridge.  Sarah is very good at learning from pictures.  It’s all those words that confuse her.

What greater gift could be bestowed upon the citizens of Alaska than Sarah Palin stepping down, and away, and out of the picture?  Once considered America’s most popular Governor, she recently came in dead last in a Gallup poll.

So is she going away?  Don’t bet on it.  She’s been in a bit of hot water lately, as more and more truth comes out regarding her run for the Vice Presidency, and many accusations are arising about her ethics violations.  Additionally, her husband’s loyalty to the Alaska Secession movement can’t be denied anymore because there is too much proof of it.

All of this can only lead to one conclusion.  Either there is one hell of a scandal coming down the pike for which she does not want to be in office at the time, or she thinks that if she resigns now, and pretends to go into hiding for a while, and pretends to do some book learnin’ about government, democracy, foreign policy, economics, health care, and any host of things that she can try and fake her way through later, she can run for President in 2012.  At some point she really, really wants to be able to yell out “They like me!!!   They really like me!!”   But who is going to back a candidate who quit her first term as governor because, in her words “it wasn’t fun anymore”.  If political office were supposed to be fun, everyone would be doing it.

What is sad for most of America, and a feather in the cap of right wing extremists, is that she’ll probably end up on the Fox Network hosting her own talk show.  She has to figure out some way to pay off half a million dollars in legal fees debt.  She’ll get great ratings, mostly because America can’t help but enjoy watching a good train wreck.  And there is no train wreck better to watch than Sarah Palin. You betcha!

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11 thoughts on “Palin finally grants Alaskans their Independence

  1. Sure – HELLO TO NEW SWEDEN. Everyone is welcome here, especialy Mainiacs. So it sounds like your are an independent. In some ways, aren’t we all. I’m pretty pissed off right now at Barack. But I still respect him and think he is a very smart man. I’ve never felt that a President just “knows things that I don’t” and feel that I must trust him on some level because of that. What condition would we be in if John McCain were in charge. Or worse yet, what condition would we be in if McCain were incapacitated, or worse, and Palin was in charge. I think we all need to have some sense of humor about this and not take everything so seriously. Sarah Palin is, and will be for a while, a laughing stock to so many. If you are a Palin supporter, you have to get used to it and you must have a sense of humor about it. That’s all I’m saying. Enough with the judgement and anger. And if people are going to go on the internet and read blogs with which they already KNOW they won’t agree, then why get yourself all worked up about it when you find one. You’re not mad at me, or my blog, or my opinions because they have no affect on you. You’re frustrated by other stuff. That’s all I’m saying. I wish you the best.

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