I haven’t written anything on this blog in ten days. I haven’t really been focused on politics, current events, or pop culture. While I no longer participate in exchanging gifts, I have been concentrating on the holidays. They are an especially difficult time for me and each year I try to survive them the best I can. Christmas is a very emotional time for many. I believe it stems from looking at your Christmas tree late at night with just the tree lights on in a quiet room. How can you not think about Christmas past. Yes, there were good times, but bad memories are easier to conjure up in your mind. There will always be the gift you didn’t get when you were a kid. The one gift you wanted so desperately. There will always be memories of what was going on in your life during a particular holiday season. There will always be people missing from your life that were there during one Christmas, but are no longer.
I would like to dedicate this posting to my friend Sarah. In addition to her insight, she has been a kind ear to listen to my pinings. She is a soft place to land as I feel the harshness of disappointment and lost love. I must say that this Christmas is better than I remember Christmas being for a long time. This year I have so much to be thankful for and luckily, didn’t forget it this year.
It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t tear free. But I enjoyed the holidays this year because I felt more like myself, more inner peace, than I have in years. I have talked with a few people who know me well and I talked to Sarah who doesn’t know me all that well. Her interest in other people’s stories opened the door for me to tell my story to her.
To me the Christmas season should be about giving thanks, just as much as Thanksgiving is. I am hopeful that since sales were down this year, some people have learned that you can celebrate and be happy at Christmas time with less “stuff”. They may have sweated and toiled over what to buy and how to buy with less money, but in the end maybe they realized that Chirstmas spirit has nothing to do with “stuff”. It has to do with the people you love, being there for them, and them for you.
So next year, maybe the world will spend even less, regardless of the economic conditions. You can’t put a price on kindness. I’d also like to thank my family for welcoming me back into the fold this year. The last 2 years have been very diffucult times and I wasn’t the same person during that time. Many didin’t recognize me at all. But luckily family always foregives, if it works out right, and this year it did.
Thanks again, Sarah, my jewish friend who helped this gentile make it through a difficult time. My Christmas wish to everyone is that they have someone to share their successes and failures, their pain and joy; a soft place to land, all without judgement from anybody.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year