An open letter to Kris Allen

Dear Kris:

I know.  Who cares what I think.  But I wanted to congratulate you on winning American Idol.  The look on your face when you won was priceless.  And how great it must be to have a friend like Adam Lambert close by who was obviously and genuinely happy for you.

I first noticed you when I checked in on American Idol right before the time of the final 13.  I picked you as the winner back then.  I don’t know exactly what it was.  For the first time this year, I actually went to iTunes and downloaded American Idol music and it was yours that I downloaded.  I actually have “Falling Slowly” and “To make you feel by love” on a CD in my car right now and play it quite often.  I must admit, as a gay man, I thought you were adorable.  Your kind and gentle soul was evident even through your shyness.  I often thought you were the kind of guy I could take home to my family and they would love you too.  So I have to be honest and say that I totally have a crush on you.  But why wouldn’t I.  Or anyone else for that matter.

That’s part of the package, you know.  Both women and gay men will think you are adorable and be vocal about it.  Speaking for myself, I would never cross the line and maul you if I saw you in person.  But you sort of have to get used to that kind of attention whether or not it is welcomed.  Gay men are fans too.

You have been blessed with beauty and grace.  You have been blessed with talent.  And most of all you have been blessed with a warm and loving family.  I envy the bear hug you got from your father on your visit home.  That is something that I never had from either parent, even though I grew up having both parents. My father died when I was 19 years old, before I was officially “out”.  As a result I have so many unanswered questions about whether or not my father actually loved me.  You don’t have to walk through life with those doubts so I hope you feel lucky and blessed.

Maybe you’re not shy; maybe you’re just humble.  Humility is an honorable trait to have.  You are inspiring to many in the way you pushed through that “thing” whether it be shyness or humility, to become an artist comfortable on stage in his own skin.  Again, that’s another thing about which I envy you.  I can barely walk into a crowded room, even if it’s just family, without suffering from severe self-confidence issues.

Back to the music.  As emotional a person as I am, it takes a lot for a song or piece of music to get to me.  In the words of “To make  you feel my love” you sang “I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love”.  That song, and the story it tells about giving of yourself and your unconditional love to another human being, in the way you sang it with just honesty, brought me to tears.  It still does when I listen to it.  And when I do listen to it I picture you singing it.  To me, that is the difference between you and Adam Lambert and the reason why you won American Idol.  It’s not that Adam is not a good looking guy.  But let’s face it, the world of music is based upon love songs.  It’s your gentle manner, your honest belief that love is so important, that raises the bar on the music you choose to interpret.

I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Adam in the open letter I wrote to him.  If you can, meaning if the almighty American Idol machine will let you, now is the time to think about what you want to do musically.  If you are going to experiment and collaborate, do it now while the iron is hot.  I think too many American Idol winners get pegged early on as “this” or “that”.  Prove them wrong.  Spread your wings a bit.  Do a duet with Josh Groban or Celine Dion.  That superstar pop-star thing may be out of your comfort zone.  But if you try stuff like that, we’ll be behind you.  You can’t sing “No Boundaries” for the next year and expect to have a career at the end.  In my opinion, you shouldn’t sing that song at all, but you are contractually obligated.  I only hope you can convince someone to let you do it your way.

I read on line, just today, the flurry of opinions regarding who won and why.  Some tried to bring everything but the kitchen sink into the conversation.  Religion, politics, homophobia, Red States versus Blue States, the Christian vote.  Believe me, none of that matters.   I think you know that.  You can tell a lot about what is going on in American culture by observing the gay community.  I read many stories and comment on blogs from gay men who voted for you.  They did not vote AGAINST Adam.  They voted FOR you.  One might think just the opposite would have happened.  I don’t know for sure if Adam is gay, but he’s certainly “gay enough” to have attracted the gay vote.  But gay men are usually well educated.  For me, it was your introspective manner and your desire to tell us who you are through your music that was so honest.  And that, my friend, is something that the gay community responds to very much.  Honesty.  It doesn’t matter if we agree about politics, religion, art, nature, sex, love, God, or anything else.  Real gay men respect those that are true to themselves.

I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing what directions you take, musically speaking.  I’ll always have a little crush on you.  And I will always get just a little emotional when I hear you sing “I could offer you a warm embrase to make you feel my love”.

An open letter to Adam Lambert

Dear Adam:

As the runner up in this years American Idol, you should first and foremost be congratulated.  Either you or Kris could have easily taken home the platinum microphone trophy this year and nobody knew how it would turn out.  You are a consummate performer, bold and self-confident, and from what I have read, you are correct: it doesn’t matter if you are first or second in this thing, your will both go far and do great things musically.

I have all the markings of an Adam Lambert supporter.  I’m gay, not religious and liberal.  I have very “in your face” attitudes and opinions that exist merely to get people to think about thing’s, or rather think about life and people, differently.  I want everyone to get the benefit of the doubt and I want everyone to be so much less judgmental than they naturally are.  I should have, by all counts, voted for you and backed you up.

When it came down to the final four this season, I cast a vote for the second time since the show’s inception  Last year for the finale I voted for David Cook.  From the moment he sang his rendition of “Billy Jean” I knew he was brilliant.  For this year’s final four I voted for you and Kris Allen.  At that point in the competition I knew that you and Kris should be in the finals, that was my opinion.  The week of the final three, I only voted for Kris because the “vibe” of the show seemed to already have decided that Danny and you should be the finalists.  I didn’t agree.  The other thing I did for the first time this year was download American Idol songs from iTunes.  I downloaded your rendition of “If I Can’t Have You” and then several songs by Kris.  I don’t know if it’s just me but gay men typically don’t care too much for Zeppelin, KISS, or even Queen for that matter.  So that genre is lost on me.  While I enjoy listening to your voice, which is beautiful and has that “ringing” you hear when a note is sung just perfectly, I don’t enjoy the screaming so much. 

I read some comments you said after last night’s finale.  I hope you were quoted correctly so that I can respond to them correctly.  From what I read, you want to move on, obviously, collaborate, and push the boundaries a bit; get people to open their minds a bit.  I don’t know what that means to you.  There aren’t too many places in music that haven’t been tested.  So it leads me to believe that you may venture into some “gender-bending, in-your-face, I am what I am and what about it” kind of music.  Again it is difficult to understand exactly what you mean.

My suggestion is to be as creative as possible and don’t try and push anything in anybody’s face.  Nobody likes to be “convinced” that they should like something.  Nor do they enjoy being told to think or re-think a certain way.

You seem like a very intelligent, out-going, thoughtful, and confident man.  You were gracious as a performer and gracious as a runner up. I am sure that Kris appreciated that just as much as America did.  What I wish for both you and Kris Allen (because it really doesn’t matter which order you landed in the competition) is that you grow and learn musically so that you both become an American Icon rather than and Idol.

I voted for Kris Allen as the winner mostly because of the way he shyly wears his heart on his sleeve.  It was almost unfair to make us choose from two artists who are so completely different.  It’s the apples and oranges all over again.  I’ve seen and read lots about the Idol finale.  People have tried to bring religion, and politics, and homophobia, and the church, and Christian-phobia into this national debate over who won and who should have won.  I don’t believe any of it.  This is about something that is so personal to each and every one of us; the music we like.  Discussing music is like discussing art, or politics, or religion, or sex.  It is almost too personal to make comparisons and judgments.  But American Idol forces us to make that choice.  Kris Allen has a certain sweetness that’s not sticky, big wide eyes when he sings but those eyes are looking into his own soul.  He is one of those old souls in a young body.  He has a way of interpreting a song that some call boring but I call unique.  He sings about love in ways only men twice his age could do.

For the next little while, they way I understand it, both you and Kris are under the thumb of American Idol, but because you are not THE American Idol, you probably have more room to breath and be creative.  Please don’t try and speak for the gay community, or the liberal community in your music.  As a gay man I feel that I don’t need another gay voice.  I don’t want to be singled out, I want to be integrated.  So musically, I hope you truly speak for yourself, from your heart, through your music.  I want you to be relevant, not reviled.

Only a confident and generous man could give Kris Allen the support and friendship that you did regardless of who was going to win.   You are both gentle men. But I think your burden is greater going forward.  Kris Allen is liked by many, and to some for rather strange reasons.  He is more shy than you and right now the public will expect him to be predictable and safe, musically speaking.  That’s his burden.  Yours is the opposite.  You will be expected to be avante garde and edgy. 

I have no credentials to give you advice but I wanted to let you know that you found your voice (both literally and figuratively); now you need to find your puspose.  What message will you send through your music.  Stay away from duets.  Your voice is too powerful for that.  So you would end up sounding too overpowering.  Even if you found someone with an equally strong voice; that coupling would end up sounding like a screaming match.  And all the while, start thinking about what you are projecting to the world.  You can get away with eye-liner and finger nail polish now, but what will you evolve into as you grow.  It’s time to start that evolution.  Strike while the iron is hot.  You have some incredible gifts.  The world is much more likely to grow with you if you start now.

I wish you all the best and will be rooting for you.

I wish you all the bet and look forward to what you have to offer.

Allen and Lambert play Donnie and Marie – Allen wins by a landslide

First, thank god American Idol is over.

I don’t recall every being so disgusted with a television show.  Let me start by saying I am not a true American Idol fan.  I got involved this year, I think, because of absolute and utter boredom with the rest of television.  But when I saw Kris Allen early on before the final 13, I knew he was a winner.  So I kept tabs on him.

The producers and judges of American Idol should be ashamed of themselves.  Last night’s finale results show was a nightmare.  It was like a bad variety show.  The producers forced Kris and Adam to perform in an endless parade of solos and duets and it all seemed like “a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll”.  Adam, of course, played the part of Marie in drag.  It was very “Shakespeare” circa 1570 when women weren’t allowed to be actors so they slapped makeup and a dress on a man and had him play the part.

From the final performances on Tuesday the judges and producers all but picked Adam as the winner.  Wednesday night’s finale had music that was all geared toward Adam’s strengths – screaming.  Adam is nothing more than a theater queen (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  In fact, I feel badly for him.  He has a great voice but nobody is telling him how to use it.   You can see the look on his face in every song he sings.  He’s just waiting for that moment in the song where he can scream his bloody head off.    He’s been performing on stage since he was ten years old.  There may be some great part in the future for him, like maybe the revival of “Rocky Horror” on Broadway.  I mean, he’s already got his own costumes and make-up that he wears daily so the budget could be slashed to pieces.

So the producers had Kris and Adam singing a duet of “We are the Champions” by Queen (how appropriate) so that Adam could scream his way over and above Kris’s voice.  But for those paying attention, Kris held his own.  The producers went so far as to turn Adam’s microphone up and Kris’s microphone down so that even when Adam wasn’t screaming you could barely hear what Kris was singing.  But if you really listened, he was belting it out the best he could even in the harshest of conditions.

The manipulation by the producers continued beginning with the end of Tuesday night’s show when Ryan Seacrest told the television audience to extend the end time of the show if they were recording it.  They planned to go over.  Low and behold on the built in cable schedule that is part of my digital cable system, American Idol was scheduled from 8:00 pm to 10:07 pm.  These online cable schedules are done several days (usually a week)  in advance.  Seven minutes over schedule.  They planned to go seven minutes over.  So they have what normally would be a two hour show to announce the winner of a singing contest.  The actually “announcing” or “anointing” takes about 30 seconds.  And they plan to go over???.  It sounds to me as if when they originally planned all of this out, they pegged Adam Lambert as the winner.  Did they originally intend to have Adam screaming for the last seven minutes?

When the announcement was finally made, and thank god when the finally did it they didn’t drag it out and further once the two contestants stood under the “dimmed lights”, Kris was the winner.  Ryan Seacrest immediately called him the dark horse who pulled off a miracle.  Nice, huh?  I usually think Seacrest is OK and give him the benefit of the doubt, but that was just bad taste.  Kris had almost no reaction.  And rightly so.  He knew the judges and producers had already planned on Lambert winning.  So he had nothing left inside.  By this point, he was physically and mentally exhausted and probably was just hoping to get some semblance of normalcy back in his life.

If you watched the very last seconds of the show, Kris was seen hugging his wife.  It was quick and the camera pulled away almost as soon as it got the shot.  But Kris wrapped his arms around the love of  his live and we got to see him, for only a split second before we were distracted to something else, Kris weeping as he buried his face into the neck of his wife.  He had finally won, it was finally over, and this mild-mannered, kind, gentle, young, old soul could move on to the next phase of American Idiot.  They will parade him around; make him perform stuff he doesn’t want to perform, and squeak every penny out of him that they can, while he, in turn, will receive comparatively, nothing.  His ass, and voice, belongs to Idol for the next 12 months.

And speaking of music he doesn’t want to sing, what is up with that awful, horrible song supposedly written by Kara DioGuardi called “No Boundaries”.  If by that she means she and the producers have no boundaries, then yes, I agree.  How can you have the judge of singing contest write a song that the performers must sing and be judged on in the finals.  The song was so bad I don’t think anybody could have sung it well.  It’s crap.  But it was certainly geared more towards Adam Lambert.

Kara “Please think I’m relevant” DioGuardi needs to go.  She has offered absolutely nothing to the show, the judging, or the commentary.  She is almost as insignificant and irrelevant as Paula Abdul.  At least Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell are in the music industry and have been for a long time.  They know talent.  They know what works and what doesn’t.  And while they don’t always agree with each other, Randy and Simon are at least believable.

So was Kris Allen really the underdog?  Not in my mind.  I think about it this way: of the two finalists which one could I listen to for more than 5 minutes without wanting to stab my own eardrums.  That would be Kris.  I went to iTunes and downloaded several of Kris’s song and burned them to CD for use in my car.  Kris’s songs are very easy to listen to and he has great voice, a great sound, a great quality, and a great interpretation of the music.  All without gimmicks.  Adam Lambert, on the other hand, can’t get through a song without screaming.  Who could listen to an entire CD of Lambert screaming.  If the time comes, that should be the name of his debut album of Broadway show tunes – “Lambert Screaming Broadway”.  Adam is touted as a rocker.  And while his voice lends itself to that kind of music, and while Adam tries to play the part of a 70’s “glam” rocker, I don’t think you can call someone whose entire musical background stems from local musical theater a “rocker”.

Further, Kris Allen can play, among other things, the piano and the guitar.  He can also write his own songs.  Adam Lambert can only sing what other people wrote. He can’t play it, he can’t write it.  So what is an American Idol?

I picked Kris Allen out of the pack early on.  I’m NOT saying I have some gift, believe me.  I picked him out of that pack because he was adorable.  So cute, so sexy.  And what red-blooded American gay male wouldn’t want to watch Kris Allen sing love songs to him through a high definition 47 inch flat screen.  I’m on fool.  Adam Lambert may be “interesting” but I wouldn’t want to take him home to my mother.

What started as a little celebrity crush back in January or February morphed into an honest respect for this quiet and shy old soul in a 23 year old artist’s body (and a hot body at that).  No controversy, no skeletons in the closet, and a real, honest, good relationship with a family that respects and supports him.  When we saw Kris’s father well up with pure joy and pride as he welcomed his son home during a brief break from Idol, we saw a glimpse of who Kris Allen was, how he was raised, and how this somewhat introverted young kid was growing into a real man through his music.

I do wish Adam Lambert all the best, I truly do.  I hope he can get some good advice and follow it.  Do more songs like “If I can’t have you” that showcased his true vocal talent without the gimmicks.  I hope he eases away from his signature screaming and learns to express himself musically and vocally without the hype. That would indeed make him a true American icon, as opposed to an idol.

For Kris Allen, what can I say but Congratulations.  You are a true American icon.  I believed in my gut that you could do it. 

I believe Kris found himself very much outside his comfort zone.  But he found a way to speak to the audience without losing who he was and without selling out.  Kris Allen was never a dark horse.  And if American Idol were to ever release actual vote totals, we might actually be able to prove it.

Maine gets Gay Marriage just right

When I listened to Governor John Baldacci of Maine give his speech following his signing of the of the Gay Marriage Bill  just a few short hours after receiving the bill, all I could think of was “He got it right”.

I watched and listened to what he said, not as a gay man,  but as a citizen of Maine, and the United States.  Even though I am gay I have not always agreed with the arguments FOR or AGAINST gay marriage. 

It wasn’t until I heard the Governor explain that the new law is about affording equal rights to all Maine citizens as outlined in Maine’s Constitution that it all made sense to me.  The Constitution’s first Article states “All people are born equally free and independent, and have certain natural, inherent and unalienable rights, among which are those of enjoying and defending life and liberty, acquiring, possessing and protecting property, and of pursuing and obtaining safety and happiness.”

Baldacci used this first and most important Article to first understand for himself that allowing Gay Marriage in Maine is not about granting the same rights to gay people that are affording to heterosexual people.  He said we are all equal and all deserve the same rights and when he looked at the issue from that perspective, he could not come up with any reasons not to allow Gay Marriage.

 He went on further to say that that no religion will be required to conduct same-sex marriages, or even recognize same-sex marriages within the realm of their own belief system because Maine has strict policies about the division of church and State.  And Maine whole-heartedly abides by the Church/State tenet.

These are ideas that I had never heard anyone express in this specific manner before; the idea that the State will allow gay civil marriages but it won’t force any church to recognize them.  So if, for example, the Catholic Church doesn’t want to recognize gay marriage because it goes against their belief system, they don’t have to.  But the Catholic Church can’t tell a gay couple what civil rights they can or cannot have.  The same applies to any other religion.  On the flip side, a gay couple cannot force a religious organization to perform or recognize their marriage and cannot claim discrimination if that church will not recognize their marriage or perform their marriage ceremony.  Under these circumstances, anybody against same-sex marriage CAN hide behind their religion, and take comfort there.  But they can not deny rights to others.

I believe that this is as close as anybody is going to get to writing a law that makes sense when defining gay marriage.  It covers all the bases.  Nobody is forcing anyone to “believe” in anything and those who call themselves “believers” can’t squelch equality and civil rights by hiding behind their religion.  So, like the U.S. Constitution has done so many times, it was Maine’s constitution that acted as the final document to guide us through this divisive issue. 

Governor Baldacci was never comfortable with the gay marriage issue.  But, he found it in himself to understand that legislators, or politicians if you wish, need to take a stand and can not continually defer to public opinion.  All of the far lefties, and far righties have had more than enough time to express their viewpoints on this issue, and they have.  Neither is a shy group. 

The Governor said that he realizes this will not be the last word on the issue.  In my opinion, it should be, but it won’t be.  Instead of worrying about real problems, the whack jobs are going to come crawling out of the woodwork.  

The Maine Legislature and the Governor have laid down the gauntlet.  There are no “reasonable” arguments against this law as it was written.  First, anybody who protests this law must first say to themselves, and then the public, “I intend to take away the civil rights of others”.   Secondly, anybody who intends to use the Bible or their religion as an argument can stop right there.  The law clearly states that you don’t have to religiously recognize gay marriage or perform gay marriage if you don’t want to.  So what’s left?

Well, there’s the “I simply think it is wrong” argument.   Hmmm?  Are they also against heterosexual couples who get married and never intend to have children, or those who get married for convenience, or those who get married to obtain property, money, or social status (you know, the reason marriage was invented in the first place).  What one “thinks” or “believes” is wrong is immaterial.  Because under the Constitution of the State of Maine, all citizens have equal rights and included in that is their right to marry whom they choose as long as it is not breaking any other laws (like the minimum age for marriage or harm to animals). 

There is only one argument against Maine’s Gay Marriage law and it’s a faux-argument called ”hate, fear, and ignorance” none of which are viable arguments against ANY law.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean some people in Maine won’t mind standing up and saying “I hate, I fear, and I am ignorant” to try and get their way.